In the 21st century, with advancements in technology, medicine and overall knowledge, it is ironic that we have seen the dramatic decline of good manners in american society in general and in the Black community in particular. Black people- until perhaps recently were great users of proper manners and of the magic words "please", "thank you", and "excuse me". In addition to the respect shown to one another, manners were a passport to avoid violating the tricky unwritten rules of the hostile white world. Young Black men and women, if knowing little else, knew "social graces" which opened many doors for them.

Societies maintain and pass on to the next generation that set of knowledge, habits and attitudes that are positive and for the benefit of the group. While it may differ from group to group, every enlightened culture has developed a set of good manners and proper etquette. Today's "thug culture" is an impediment to those who practice it and to the community overall. Many of our young people may think that good manners are not important; any day they can hear about someone who was shot and killed merely because he/she had committed an act that made someone else feel disrespected/dissed

Especially troubling is the widespread disrespect that is directed toward Black women. this disrespect is celebrated in film, novels, and popular music. Many of our young Black princesses have settled for this behavior as acceptable. There has even been a resurrection of the pimp in popular culture. Let us be reminded that a pimp is a european and not an African invention.

Since the landing of the first slave ship, the Black woman has labored to help hold the Black family together. In ancient Africa, the woman was held in high esteem and in many of those societies, the family lineage was traced through the female side of the family. History is filled with Black women who held tremendous positions of great importance, and celebrated to help make up for the times they could not be properly recognized. And for sure, Black girls must be taughtat an early age to expect respect, develop positive self-esteem and not allow themselves to be mistreated.

There is nothing that denotes weakness or lack of masculinity in men or lack of courage in women when showing good manners, or even in offering an apology. Some years ago, when on public transportation, men got up to offer their seats to the elderly or to young women with children. In everyday life there is nothing more heart warming than seeing a large young teenager saying "yes ma'am' to a little old lady, a grown man bending down to help a young child. Conversely, there is nothing more pitiful than seeing a big man taking advantage of a smaller woman.

Eastern and African societies hold the elders of the community in high esteem because of their accumulated knowledge as well the contributions they have made towards the community throughout their lives. The African-american community today must continue to exercise this practice.

Good manners show sophistication, intelligence, and the ability to resolve issues and the ability to accomplish important objectives.Any talk of family values is premature without manners and basic respect for one another. Good manners help to create an atmosphere in public where adults and children can feel that trivial matters will be resolved before unnecessarily erupting into violence or crisis.

In order for societies and cultures to survive, develop, and prosper, posiive knowledge, habits, and attitudes must be practiced by adults and transmitted to the younger generations. The Black experience has arich history and culture, which allowed us to survive slavery, segregation, ongoing discrimination and our own destructive tendencies. Inclusive in this history and culture is the practice of proper manners and the sincere respect of others around us. Let us reclaim, maintain, and elevate this long African and African-american tradition of good manners towards each other.